On many occasions, I have run into Americanophobes that boast very boldly that they can speak between 4-9 languages — depending on the Americanophobe.
I used to believe them.
Then I realized that they had only mastered the art of being able to say,
“You’re a typical, self-entitlement-oriented, inbred, insular, nationalistic, inherently violent, unfashionable, paranoid, arrogant, unsophisticated, fat, lazy, vulgar, greedy, racist, spoiled-rich, ignorant, stupid, humorless, loud, obnoxious, gum-chewing, carbon-emitting, baby-killing, gun-toting, bible-thumping, flag-waving, and self-centered, globalizing, uncouth, swearmouthed and boorish non-human Neanderthal American obsessed with sex, celebrities and McDonalds that demands the entire world revolve around herself”
in Russian, French, English, German, Cantonese, Malay, Hindi, Thai, and Arabic.
Oh yes, and the basics like hello, where’s the toilet, my name is [...], death to America, how much is that, how do I get to [...] from [...], nice to meet you, I am from India, thank you, you’re welcome, and Yankee go home.
Before you brag to random Americans about your “linguistic expertise” expecting us to take you seriously, ask yourselves:
- Can I have a REAL conversation (not an exchange of a few words) with another national in their native tongue smoothly or at least very close to it?
- Can I read and write in their language without too much trouble?
Of course, you can say that you are fluent only when it comes to speaking and listening as opposed to reading and writing to be clear with people. But I reckon that most people who yelp “I’m a cultural linguist!!” whilst pounding their chest in hopes to deflate the egos of the surrounding “unsophisticated and uncultured” yanks are full of it and themselves!!
Canadians who boast that they are bilingual are also full of donkey doo. Your average Canuck can speak as much French as your average American can speak Spanish.
Additionally, being forced to learn a language and learning the language because you want to are two different things! You also catch on to the language with more enthusiasm and learn it much quicker as opposed to being required to take it. Requirements are boring, but choosing to do something is a feat and fun at the same time!
This is another attempt of the Americanophobes grasping at straws as part of their movement. What they don’t know is that it’s backfiring on them. Which brings me to a quote that mirrors this post:
“There is a belief and hope that if enough nations oppose America, the American people will realize what their government has been doing and will overthrow them. This hope is misguided, as anti-American actions are causing the opposite…” — Vexen Crabtree
I used to run into this sentiment so often in Africa that it was almost hilarious. Then, I would just chuckle as the local tribesmen switched with liquid efficiency from Swahili to French, to English, and then to a language that I could not for the life of me even begin to understand (Bantu) and back again.
But, for some reason those same locals just thought that was a natural human talent. Invariably, the usually European visitor that thought themselves so superior needed help communicating with the bushmen. So much for superiority!
This is true, but it’s not only true of Americanophobes. Most Western Europeans pretend to be fluent in a number of languages that they really only have a passing knowledge of. Most younger people can speak English well – this has to do with the ubiquity of English, the constant immersion of it.
I know from plenty of exposure that Spanish-speaking South Americans almost never speak Portuguese, and Brazilians can only “fake” Spanish (called Portunol). Keep in mind these languages are already very similar to each other.
Have heard some Italians boasting about being “fluent” in English, then have approached them speaking full-speed. Talk about a dumbfounded look on their face. I am fully capable of carrying on a conversation in either language, no problems. Then again, need to, sink or swim. I will have to say unfortunately there are ignorant people everywhere. Yes English is at the moment the “International Language” but not everyone speaks English.
A-men! This is what I am hoping the Americanophobes understand one day.