‘Cause everybody hates you….

….so I hate you too”, says many disgruntled Canadians out and about on Cyberspace who refuse to think for themselves and just follow the majority, blindly.

Canadians (predominantly) have started several groups, threads, and have maliciously created posts on Facebook to make clear that they don’t like us Americans. Here are a few examples (the rest can be found on my sidebar or link section where it reads, “Americanophobic groups on Facebook”):

Fuck the USA, CANADA IS THE BEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD! In this heart-warming group of Canadians that claim to be “humble” and “peace-loving”, Americans are to listen up and realize why Canada is the best country and why America is the worst. And it’s for the Americanophobic Canadians to further their “pride” and secure their “national identity” (as they appear to still be looking for it). Well, you’ll see what I mean by reading the below:

this group is for anyone canadian or anyone that loves canada!!
50 reasons why canada is so great!:
1. Free healthcare!! come on that fuckin rulz!!
2. the first nation of hockey! WHICH SHOULD BE OUR ONLY NATIONAL SPORT!!!
3. us canadians are much tougher than americans
4. less obese than americans cuz we actually go to a little thing called OUTSIDE!!!
5. we have a prime minister that doesnt say dumb shit like “most of our imports come from other countries”
6. POUTINE!
7. BEAVERTAILS!
8. we got stuff that got imported into the US cuz its so good, like kraft and TIMMIES!
9. 2nd largest landmass in the world
10. bilingual (yes that is sumthing to be proud of)
11. the ladies arent fake here (and theyre hotter too!)
12. our beer isnt watered down
13. we can actually be proud to be canadian in other countries and not be killed for that
14. we have that one word that could mean ANYTHING! of course, im talking about EH!
15. we got beavers…both kinds
16. so many contributors to music, movies and sports come from canada (jim carrey, mike myers, nickelback, don cherry, steve nash, celine dion, must i really go on? im sure that if youre in this group, you already know countless more )
17. probably the only nation to have ANOTHER NATION in it (and for you who talk about the african country SURROUNDED by another country, its not technically inside the country itself)
18. the MEN arent fake; they’re real and they’re HOT…and they’re NOT all the same like the men in the U.S (obviously done by our female admin )
19. we know HOW to eat mcdonalds (by this we mean were not obsessed by it)
20. we have weird names for its 1 and 2$ coins
21. we had the first coloured (WITH A U!) quarter in the world (remember, the one with the poppy?)
22. Underground railroad
23. Drinking age is only 19 (18 in some areas)
24. We invented hockey, basketball, baseball, the telephone, the T.V., refining, the baseball glove, INSULIN, the kitchen stove, Pablum, the radio, IMAX projector and system, the zipper, music synthesizer, electron microscope, Trivial Pursuit (one of America’s top games, and the base of many game shows), the Canadarm… I could go on.
25. Le Cirque du Soleil
26. Canada never owned slaves (there were slaves in Canada in the 18th century but they were owned by the British government)
27. Women in Ontario can walk around topless legally (For men: YES! For women: Your freedoms are expanded)
28. Average life expectancy of a Canadian is 79 years, the highest in the world (U.S. is 75 years)
29. Canadian woman second in comand at UN (American not 1st or 3rd or 4th or… in command)
30. Nelvana Corp. of Toronto hired to produce all American cartoons on CBS
31. 1/3 of Microsoft programmers come from the University of Waterloo
32. SMARTIES!!!
33. We have the World’s longest street (Yonge St.)
34. We have the World’s tallest self-supporting structure, and most of us know what it’s used for (the CN Tower).
35. We have the World’s longest bridge (Confederation Bridge)
36. We have had the only leader to do a pirouette in Buckingham Palace with the Queen. (Pierre Trudeau).
37. We made those dinosaurs in Jurassic Park
38. We are a proud part of NATO and NAFTA
39. There are over 2 million Canadian patents.
40. The Mackenzie Brothers (“take off ya hoser”) – only a true Canuck will understand that joke!
41. the film 300 was filmed in montreal!
42. We contributed to the international space station with the canadarm!
43. we can all say that we stuck our tongues on a pole in winter… and survived to tell the tale!
44. we all know how to PARTAY!!!
45. We have an amazing annual bluesfest at ottawa, and it attracts big names like (just naming some that i remember) bob dylan, nelly furtado, kanye west, the white stripes, alexisonfire, etc.
46. the canada day festivities on the parliament hill
47. Bon Cop Bad Cop (tho only ontariens and quebecers can really get this movie)
48. MGM, one of the biggest productions in the film industry has been founded by metro, goldwyn and mayer, all canadians
49. Bombardier inventor and company
and the best reason here:
50. were not american
(thanks to angie wassink for 23-40)
(these reasons are the opinion of many of the members in this group, including both admins, if any feel offended by these reasons, you must be american)

Where do you hear of any other group in the world that goes to this extent to boast about how their country is better while smacking another one down? Not even Americans are THAT arrogant. And if they do get like that, it’s a response to the patronizing Americanophobic Canadians. I will get to debunking and challenging all of their “Anti-Americanisms” and the deluded misconceptions at a later time in a different entry in depth. So, let’s continue with the hate groups…

I AM CANADIAN! (Not necessarily a “hate” group, but rather amusing things are mentioned):

Hey, I’m not a lumberjack, or a fur trader….
I don’t live in an igloo or eat blubber, or own a dogsled….
and I don’t know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada,
although I’m certain they’re really really nice.

I have a Prime Minister, not a president.

I speak English and French, not American.
And I pronounce it ‘about’, not ‘a boot’.

I can proudly sew my country’s flag on my backpack.
I believe in peace keeping, not policing,
diversity, not assimilation,
and that the beaver is a truly proud and noble animal.
A toque is a hat, a chesterfield is a couch,
and it is pronounced ‘zed’ not ‘zee’, ‘zed’ !!!!

Canada is the second largest landmass!
The first nation of hockey!
and the best part of North America

My name is _______!!
And I am Canadian!!!

Funny how the same group of people who claim to be “peace keeping”  and “humble” relentlessly brag about how they burned down the White House in the War of 1812 which is false anyway. And the same “peace keeping” group were also those very same people cheering and applauding the 9-11 attacks on the WTC. Now, how’s that for hypocrisy? It’s funny how the only way they can install their identity is by saying who they’re not (Americans), rather than just calmly feeling Canadian pride in their hearts. If you’re the best part of North America, you don’t need to say it. Nevertheless, I’m always entertained by the desperado…. Oh and by the way, most Canadians AREN’T bilingual. They learn French in school. Not so different from my generation that learned Spanish in school.

When you claim to speak another language, one is to assume that you are fluent. That’s not the case with Canadians. Just because you took a few semesters of French in school, doesn’t mean that you’ll be able to have a smooth conversation with a Frenchman or one from Quebec. At least in the US, if we choose to learn a 2nd language, it’s because we *want* to – not because we *have* to. Big difference there. Learning a second language because you *want* to says a lot about a person’s genuine curiosity and open-mindedness to other cultures. Also, if you learn because you *want* to, you are more likely to be more fluent in that language. Americans, when learning another language want to because they’re going to another country or want to speak with other foreigners who are non-English speaking.

Oh, but there’s more!

Canadians rock; Americans suck!

The creator of this group wants us “Evil Americans” to listen up!

American would be nothing without Canada. We supply them with almost all their resources. Canadas like a nice pretty pair of pantys. and Americas the skid mark on it. Also they have a messed in the head hill billy leader whos a war crazy crack. All he knows how to do is declare a war. Everyone hates Americans. Even some Americans hate Americans. Face it… there stupid superficial way of looking at canada pisses you off doesnt it?

Hm. I think I know already too much about Canada – the most important things being that they’re (the idiots I’ve encountered), are the most hateful, ill-informed, prejudiced group of people that exists on the internet. With that said, I’d rather not learn anything more about Canada. Who’d want to after reading all that? As some of you can see, what they “know” and say about Americans couldn’t be further from the truth! He goes on to say with pride, “Some Americans hate Americans”…. WOW! That’s incredible that Canadians all love each other. No fights. No disagreements. No divorces. No break ups. No crime. ALL peace and love. I’m touched. I’m honestly touched.

But I cannot help but to mention that their crime rate isn’t too far from that of the US. Oh, yeah! And they’ve got LOTS-O-GUNS too! I wonder what they’re doing with them?

Next…

Canada should Annex America!

I’m not stupid enough to realize that this wasn’t a joke. But interesting, nonetheless.

Ive seen a few people INSISTING America should take over Canada. Theres a few problems with that however. (sic) Everyuone hates America. Everyone loves Canada. Can you spell WWIII? I sure hope so. But then again you might be AMERICAN. Americans are not smart enough to take over Canada, since I have to spell it out for you Yanks. I mean, youve got 300 million people ALL speaking the same language, and you can’t pull it together to make that your official language. I mean, 200 years folks! Not to mention we’ll fight back with polar bears. And every Canadian has Superpowers.

Wha… Wait a minute… ? Keep in mind, these are the same people that say we’re “insensitive to immigrants”, but they want English to be our official language??? Wouldn’t that hurt all the Hispanics in the US? Looks like we’re damned no matter what we do. Three-hundred million people ALL speaking the same language? There are boatloads of bilinguals in the US. If you ask me, I think they’re all too busy trying to shove something in America’s face to have the time to learn about the US. Aren’t they the same people who whine that we don’t know enough about them?

What you guys have “learned” in your biased agenda-ridden grade schools and from the good ole slanted CBC does *not* make you an “expert” on the US. Clearly, ignorance is something that we can easily say we have in common.

And more!

Which is better: Canada or America?

This thread on Facebook is ridiculously laden with Americanophobic hurls. The following is one of the more nicer comments:

I totaly agree, we dont start wars everywhere and the only reason we’re so full of gay stuff is all cuz we are so close from the usa and by that i mean the medias and commercial music, fast food and tv that make everyone lazy and fat…we live right next to the kingdom of greasy food and bad tv so we might end up like that. an oh yea, there’s more ppl smoking dope in canada than in the usa

Yanno? Nobody’s forcing you people to buy and use our stuff, ya dingaling? But yeah, I think I’d smoke dope too if I were among you very angry, ungrateful, disgruntled group of people. Now, I’m not talking about all Canadians – just the “holier than thou” “WE’RE *&%$*#@$ BETTER THAN UUUUUUUU LOLZ!!!!!!111″ folk.

By the way, did I forget to mention, America Sucks? It’s also suffice to say that we didn’t have any part in conquering Nazi Germany in WWII. The Canadians have conveniently re-wrote history. It’s time to get enlightened:

wow you didn’t do shit in WW2! you were too busy with japan, britain Canada and france did all the work…read a freakin unbi-ist history book!

To make matters even more amusing, as you can see from my comment section of this entry, Canadians are running here still flapping their mouths calling Americans “stupid” and “ignorant”. I guess, as the expression goes, Ignorance IS bliss!!

This is relatively an innocent thread, and one Canadian even went as far to share a balanced, intelligent, and reasonable view of the states:

Let’s not judge a country’s people on what their forein policy is. I have dealt with many Americans through work, and i dissagree with the stereotype that Americans are dumb or ignorant. They really are a smart, well educated people. World media just seems to enjoy portraying them as Xenophobic ignorant people, and they just aren’t.

In the same hopes that the outspoken minority of negative americans in this group will learn the fallacy of their ways, let’s not judge Americans like this.

But then it started getting nasty, but in a gentle kind of way. One woman speaks of what will happen if a Canadian were to visit America:

You should have a bad impression. That’s all that they leave. The only good thing about the US is that I can go over the border and buy stuff cheaper than it is here.

Correct me if I’m wrong. How is it that Canadians need to cross the border for cheaper stuff when they have “free” health care, live in a welfare state and even are WEALTHIER than Americans??? You’d think they’d have some money left over, EH? All I know is that if I hated a country THAT much, I’d pay a couple dollars more and buy my products in my OWN country. Get a job, much?

I will part for now. My goal is to entertain, and I will not leave you empty handed. Please stayed tuned for more lunacy from our great friends to the North.